What's Stopping You?
Block #5: Perfectionism. (Part 1)
Some might say, “What’s stopping YOU, Kat?”
And I could answer, “Life got busy.” That’s the truth (what with Mom in hospital, subsequent ups and downs, etc.).
But the bigger truth is: It seems I have to get steeped in the pains of each topic in this series before I can write about it. That’s the bad news. The good news? At least you know I’m not making this stuff up or preaching to you mortals from my lofty perch.
So today’s topic is… what else? Perfectionism.
This one is a real bugaboo for me. And – it appears – for several people I asked for comments on the subject. We’ll get to that in a minute.
Perfectionism says you have high standards.
On the one hand, we all want to set high ideals for ourselves. We want to establish a reputation for excellence. We want to be exceptional. We want to be the “Go To” guy/gal who gets it done right. Or better than right.
One of my first jobs in advertising was at Chiat/Day in LA… the same year Advertising Age named them “Agency of the Year”. That’s when Jay Chiat handed out t-shirts with what was to become the agency’s war cry: Good enough is not enough.
It was smart branding. Let’s be honest. Who doesn’t want to hire a perfectionist? Don’t you want whoever’s working on your advertising, your brakes, your home, your taxes, your case in court, or your spine to be a perfectionist? Of course, you do.
What makes perfectionism so tricky is that it’s a double-edged sword.
The problem with perfectionism is when it keeps you from
a) starting
or
b) finishing
Hence, why I still don’t have a website. It’s not that I don’t know how. It’s that I DO. All those years and big accounts as a copywriter mean MINE has to be really really good. No pressure.
Yesterday, as I was working on this, I tuned in to Hay House Radio just in time to hear the coach of all coaches, Cheryl Richardson, advising a caller: “Perfectionism is a gift in disguise. On one hand, you can use to create art. On the other hand, it robs people of spirit and aliveness.”
One of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott, has a chapter on Perfectionism in Bird by Bird, her brilliant guide to writing. She says, “Perfectionism will ruin your writing, blocking inventiveness and playfulness and life force.”
There’s that alive/life force thing again.
And she adds this:
“Perfectionism means that you try desperately not to leave so much mess to clean up. But clutter and mess show us that life is being lived. Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground – you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, edit things out, fix things, get a grip.”
I always say it’s easier to revise than to write. Too bad I don’t always listen.
In the end, you have to begin.
The way out lies – for me – at the intersection of Anne Lamott and Nike. Anne talks about the gift of Shitty First Drafts. Do it badly the first time. But as the Nike ads say, Just Do It. This is not just about writing or sports.
Here are a few other bits of wisdom I’ve put on Post-It notes in my brain.
From Hemingway: “I write one page of masterpiece to ninety-one pages of shit. I try to put the shit in the wastebasket.”
From the Buddha: "An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea."
From my friend Ruth, who so wisely reminded me on my Facebook page: “Progress, not perfection.”
Perhaps the greatest wisdom actually comes from my boy cat, Kiko, who sometimes sprays indoors when he’s upset. (Trust me, we’ve spent the equivalent of a few Caribbean vacations trying to get to the root of this and stop it.) He’s gotten better, but after one “relapse” he told our pet psychic friend this:
“I’ll get perfect when everyone else does.”
For today, that’s going to have to be good enough.
Or in the words of Grace Jones:
Catch Part 2: What some people with high standards have to say about Perfectionism. (You may know some of them.)
Question: How do you deal with Perfectionism? What has it kept you from starting or completing? Share it with us in the comments here.
T-shirt photo courtesy of Chiat/Day alum Greg Helm (with a little help from Steve Alburty ). Music snippet thanks to techno-wiz Deb Dobson.
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